Volkstrauertag 81

---

This page is too pale.... but black isn't necessary to be added here.....

I put an element that is in me to Gilbert. Yes, I afraid losing somebody I love.....

I think it's begin when I was Primary 1 at age 6 or 7. That time, I lost my father due to heart-attack. His body was placed in a room with another patients with fatal illness and wounds. Children weren't allowed to be in there, but my mom managed to get us in after pleading the staff to let us in, to see our father. 

I can't say what happened after we saw his body, it's too much pain to explain. My little brother just stared at him because he's only 2-3 year olds.

He only could get to see 3 of us schooling in Primary and seeing my brother first step and first words. He never get the chance to see us graduate from high school, nor accompany my brother playing game together.

I make Gilbert into a depressed person like me......